I Need a Wife

I used to think that life would be so much simpler when I got married and had a husband to help around the house and just get things done. I was wrong. I need a wife. Someone to help with the laundry, remember to pay the bills on time, do the grocery shopping, pick up the dry cleaning and everything that I just don't have time to do. I think the PC term is a Personal Assistant, but let's face it, I need a wife.

This is what's wrong with healthcare

This past Thursday, I had surgery to remove my gallbladder. I was in and out of the hospital on the same day. At 3AM the following morning I fell/passed out in my bathroom and was rushed back into the hospital by my husband. I have an HMO insurance policy provided by my husband's employer at a great rate to us. But it has still has its limitations. But this story isn't really about me, it's about the two others I shared my emergency room section with.

Shortly after I was assigned a bed in the ER, I was joined by "Rebecca". Rebecca is in her 40's, was transported via ambulance and was suffering from a dislocated prosthetic hip. Rebecca was also soused and spoke of drinking a bottle of vodka prior to her 5AM trip to the ER.  She had fallen as she reached for her pack of cigarettes she had dropped under her bed. Rebecca did not have insurance, except for some worker's comp she kept bringing up, lived in a board and care facility, is married and moaned a lot. Board and care is non-medical custodial living for adults and can be state subsidized.

During Rebecca's time in the ER she received x-rays and then left to sleep off her buzz before they could relocate her hip, for which she was sedated. She frequently asked for Ambien and pain medication, for which she was refused or offered Tylenol. Her husband eventually showed up to be by her side, left and returned. It was also revealed that this was her 4th trip to the ER for this same ailment and that she was waiting for hip replacement surgery. Upon leaving, Rebecca was offered a special pillow to help with her hip. Rebecca and her husband said she had one but wanted another. The nurse said that if they had one they don't need another. The husband said it would be "perrrrfect" if they had a 2nd, one for the bedroom and one for the living room, so he wouldn't have to worry about moving one. The nurse gave in and gave him one. They also went home with a clean, new pair of scrubs, pillows and everything else they could grab that the nurse would let them take. You and I just paid for their shopping trip.

Oh, and one more thing. As Rebecca was leaving, she asked about positions that should could have sex in. So, this wasn't the first and definitely not the last time we'll be paying for Rebecca and friend's medical care and shopping spree.

My other roomie, "Richard" was also a board and care resident with a bit of mental illness. Richard was also in his 40's, also did not have insurance, was transported via ambulance for chest pain and was asking for pain killers. Richard also made numerous claims against his facility including that they were not giving him all his meds and would not allow him to use the phone. No-one was buying it, after all he did call an ambulance and the meds he wasn't receiving were narcotics. He did receive a chest x-ray, CT scan and some meds. I was gone before Richard was released but I wonder what his goody-bag included.

Both Rebecca and Richard received all their tests expediently while I waited for insurance to approve the last one of mine and for my surgeon to return a phone call. After 24 hours of care, I was finally allowed to return home and am happy to say that I am doing better today.

Seriously? Breast Feeding Baby with Oreo

Granted, the attached Oreo ad was created for the South Korean market and foreign ad campaigns tend to be edgier than ones found in the U.S. but it really does raise a few questions.
Mainly, why?

The campaign is obviously for shock value but I guess I was hoping that some lines would not be crossed merely for the opportunity of using a bare breast.



Follow Up 4/19/2012:  A representative from Kraft told TMZ, "Kraft Foods did not create this ad. It has never run in Korea or any other markets."

The rep adds, "This ad was created by our agency for a one-time use at an advertising forum. The ad was never intended for public distribution or use with consumers."

Riverside Arts Walk Logo Re-Design Contest

There is an official entry form.  Please address all comments to the Riverside Arts Consortium.  Thanks!

Why Freeway Traffic Slows to a Stop

I have a theory as to why traffic on our local freeways slow to a stop on a regular basis.  It's not due to accidents or there being large ojects in the middle of the road.  I know this because the traffic always mysteriously opens up again at some point and there is no trace of evidence that it had anything to do with one of these two reasons.  It is merely the culmination of traffic acumulating behind slow drivers in all lanes.  These slow drivers create a bottleneck resulting in stopped traffic several miles behind them.  I know they do not realize they are doing this, but it is not ok.  We have a lane dedicated to the slow,  the far right one.  That's where you belong. 

If you are in one of the two far left lanes, these are for drivers who plan on going about 5-10 miles over the speed limit.  And this is acceptable.  Its what keeps the natural order of things and keeps traffic accidents from happening.  You slow people in the fast lane, you cause the accidents.  People are cruising along and then come up upon your slow ass and this causes problems.

Now I'm going to give a few of you the benefit of the doubt that you don't realize you are a slow driver in the wrong lane.  So here are some tips that may help you identify yourself.

• More than 3 cars have passed you on the right
• Your car was manufactured before 1995
• You see a string of 4 or more cars piled up behind you in your rear view mirror
• You are on your cell phone, handset or handsfree, doesn't matter
• You are eating
• You are reading, yes you are, I've seen you and it scares me
• You are following a GPS or map, yes this slows you down because we all have to turn down the radio and drive slow, especially when we're getting close, to follow those things

Please review these tips, identify yourself and move to the right please.

Costco and Sams' Club Shoppers

I really dislike shopping at these big warehouse stores.  Yes, the prices and quantities are great but the experience is darn right aggravating.  There are people EVERYWHERE and they don't know how to behave in a store such as this.  Here are the most common offensive behaviors:

• Bringing too many people on your shopping trip
• Ok, so you have 5 children, your auntie, uncle and grandma all living with you, you don't all have to go on the shopping trip.  This just makes it harder for others to get their chores done.  Yes, going to Costco is a chore for most of us, not a fun weekend family activity.
• Stopping in the middle of walkways to hold a family meeting, chat with friends or do nothing but block the way.
• Others are trying to get their shopping done and go home.  There is not enough room for you to gather, because so many people go in groups 10-14 as it is.
• Moving at a snail's pace
• I am here to get my chores done and move on to my next errand, this isn't a park.  Keep moving or get out the way.
• Darting out in front of moving carts or stopping suddenly in the walkway
• When these oversized carts are full they carry momentum, so if you get in the way you or your children may get smushed, its before for everyone if you leave some of the extra people at home and be aware of your surroundings.
• Discarding your used portion cups in places other than trash cans
• It is gross finding your half eaten corn muffin in a box I have to use to pack my items to bring home.

The following behaviors are encouraged:

• Move with purpose
• Shop alone whenever possible
• Do not sample at every station
• Leave children at home

The following are suggestions for the warehouse stores:

• Remove sample stations from your marketing strategy
• Limit the number of people admitted into the store with one card

Welcome to Fontucky

NASCAR rolls into town this weekend at the California Speedway which happens to be a stone's throw from my house.  There is a parade route for the NASCAR haulers that runs just outside my subdivision. 

This is when we earn our name.  Urban Dictionary definse the term Fontucky as

"City in Southern CA, actually called Fontana. Outdated term used to desribe the amount of rednecks who used to live there." This weekend the name won't be outdated.

                                 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fontucky